Choosing your Relationship Battle

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Learn how to tell what’s worth fighting for and what isn’t in a relationship.
1. Say No to Nagging
Picking at every little thing he does kills good communication. A partner may tend to “turn-off” and stop listening if you are constantly nagging him about little things. This means when there is more important thing to discuss, such as you always being the butt of his jokes at dinner parties, he may not listen.
Nagging is repetitive and generally one-sided, while a constructive discussion takes into consideration the feelings and thoughts of both parties. While you may not necessarily agree, there is more chance for a respectful outcome.
If you are constantly picking at little things, bigger issues in your relationship may take a back seat. The listener stops listening and will either block out the criticism or become angry and defensive so the interaction is hurtful.
2. Focus on the Big Issues
Experts say the major issues between couples tend to be about trust, finances, sex, child rearing and relatives. With good communication these issues can be worked through. It will take effort and guts on your part to bring them up, but if you want a happy and healthy relationship, there is no other choice than to dive in and get to the partner about one or two things, ask yourself if there are deeper issues fueling your frustration and if so, find a way to resolve them. On the other hand, as issue may seem trivial to him, but is a major thorn in your side. The key is to respect each other’s perspective on all issues and find a mutually satisfying way to resolve them.
3. Talk the talk
If you let the small stuff trump the bigger issues in your relationship, the bigger issues will eventually come back to haunt you. This means you need to talk about them. Buried resentments and disappointments wear away at the foundation of a relationship and after a period of time, a couple may give up and grow apart due to lack of understanding and closeness. Hearing the feelings of your partner and airing differences in a relationship are important to the health of the partnership. No two people are ever completely alike and need to be able to express what they feel and what they think.
4.Timing is everything
It’s all about timing when it comes to deciding to share annoyances with your partner. For example, it’s a good idea to save a talk about household issues, such as his lack of interest in dirty dishes, when he’s most likely to be receptive.
A bigger problem, such as the habit of interrupting you while you’re talking is something that can hamper successful communication and should be worked on early in a relationship. Don’t let the important issues fall by the wayside, flag them for discussion as soon as you feel hurt or upset so the issue doesn’t worsen.
source: women's journal


Tina January 23, 2009 at 5:22 AM  

You really shared some good information here. I find that really thinking before you talk and choosing you timing wisely are really two of the most important things when communicating within a relationship. Sometimes we think things need to be talked about immediately when waiting and thinking could be so beneficial.

Rhonda January 24, 2009 at 9:21 AM  

All great tips. Communication in any relationship is so important. But the way you communicate is equally important.

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